WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU RUNNING TO?

The question is always: Why not become aware as a person? Am I too sad to actually function?

I am out there trying to find something that would give me an idea of what I am to become and then suddenly…… I stand broken. I stand broken for the very reason that I am out there: the fact that I have to look for what I am to become and that I don’t already know naturally. It saddens me. Why? Oh I’ll tell you.

I not a communist, nor am I an advocate of conspiracy theories (except of course those which are really interesting), but I believe that it is the world out there with the news and the movies and the books on the lives of others and the stories of men and women triumphing over the greatest of odds that lead us here. We are made to believe (and we do believe with such conviction) that one day we will also be great men who will stand on raised platforms and be revered.

It becomes a desire. The simple, comforting need of all men to lead a sufficient life without pain and hunger and with the love of those we love and the long lives of those we give birth too is replaced by a deep, painful, crippling desire to be great. A desire that makes a home for itself in deep places inside our chests and shrieks in the moments when we find ourselves the weakest.

It is a sad sad thing that dreams are held in such high esteem. Dreams are the cause of all that is bad. It takes our focus of off all that is good in our lives and makes us stare sadly at images of all that we don’t have.

Pain is welcomed and invited. After all, we are fighting to achieve our dreams aren’t we?

I don’t tell you to leave “all that you have” and walk away. But once in a while, even if it is only in passing or even a fleeting thing when you turn your head, just look at “all that you have” and twist your lips into what might be called a smile.

Allan Jacob.

Me?

This is supposed to be a blog. I really hadn’t noticed it until a certain friend pointed it out to me yesterday. Ok, that’s not right, I knew that this was a blog. But what my friend said was that this is “my” blog. Mine, meesta, meehihihi, meeka meeka, meowin.

So today I have something to say, about me. also, because I haven't said anything in a month and my picture looks weird. I look back and all I see are random nonsenses that I have talked about considering the state of the world. But although, I did care about what I was talking about, today I find myself not caring at all. I am going to mark this day as about me and talk about me.

I know, I know, its been done to death and all in every chick-lit no(nsense)vel, every teen movie and by all those weirdly idiotic hot chicks who talk too much because they find every guy is listening to them, but don’t realize that the guys are doing it only to touch their asses or boobies.

But today, this is me. But but but. See we have a problem. I don’t talk. Well, yes I do. Hmmm, is it that I am a loner and don’t talk about myself? Nah, well ok kinda. See I am not a social pariah. I am a nice friendly guy. Very. And yes I do talk about myself and would also like to talk about you. But the catch is, I lie. Always.

But it’s a new day, maybe I have changed. Maybe.

Lets start. I am a nice guy. Very nice. I am the guy that all the aunties and most of my friends mothers really like. No, no dinguses, I know where you are. I know, because that’s where I’d be. No MILF stuff. What I mean is that I come across as a nice sweet guy. No troubles, the very innocent kind.

You know, the kind that a girl can take home to her parents and tell them ‘I am going to marry this handsome young man.’ And they would be like, “Cool!” Well, if they don’t focus on the ‘is he super rich and has a steady job?’ thing. Ok, let me put it nicely, I am a sweet guy.

Now the question that may come out concerning an earlier statement: ‘Is it for real?’

Yes.

Yes, I am a sweet guy. Believe it or not, I really am. See, the bad part comes out because I really don’t make an effort to be good, although, that is what I want. If it easier to be a nice, that’s what I’d be. Always. Or if I was not like super lazy.

I really have never cared. Don’t know, jus haven’t. No, its not a cool guy thing, just a lazy thing.

I have this friend, another one, who has competed with me ever since I have known him. About whom, I sometimes wonder why he didn’t name himself “wannabe”. And yes he has won every time, because, well, I never competed.

No, for somebody, who may think me good, I didn’t uncompete because I am Gandhi, I did it cause I didn’t care, ever. Even now. And those rare moment when, I might have, well, I am too fucking lazy, remember.

See, nice as I am, I would also tell you, I aint that that much. I am the guy who loooo-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ved 300. Loved it almost like an adoptive religion. But fuck, I really don’t care much for Spartacus, well except for the naked chicks in almost every scene.

But, like I said, I also would like to kill me some weird Persian dudes with nipple rings and slow dances. But you just have to guarantee that I would never die, wont have to work for my six packs, don’t have to fight my underwear( a little shy, sue me!) and that I get couple of really hot Persian chicks. You know, spoils of war.

Ok, ok, ok, now for those who moght think of me bad, I would like to remind you, I am sweet. Very. You know, the kind of guy that the you sweet girls would like to hold close to your breasts and comfort forever.

Hmmmm, ok maybe that wasn’t the best of way to put things, but like I said, who cares.

Tada sweetlings, daddy gotta go.

The worst of Me and the worst of You.

You walk around Facebook once or twice in the search of new friends, like I did today and you end up finding great little things. It had been a long time since. I am the guy who usually goes in everyday, hangs around and then heads back home because the only reason that he was there was he hoped that he might find something interesting happening… but, umm, he doesn’t.

Well, but today, I was there, really there and I read through many a people’s pages. Its funny, the things that people write in the "about me section." Some really smart people don’t even let their "about me" section be seen by anyone other than their friends. You know playing safe:there are too many leechers and bad people out there and like Obama said, “we have to be careful on facebook.”

Well, I do get the sentiment and maybe hiding somethings from the bad people may be wise, but the “about me” thing, that’s just totally stupid. The person who knows you, knows “about you.” It’s the other guys who need to know. Hmmm….

Anyway, coming to the topic at hand, there are like a million pieces of strange little things that you can find to amuse yourself as you read on about people in each page. The idea of talking about even a few of them would take the amount of recall and patience that I just don’t have. So, I am going to rant about one of the most common things that you see in the about me boxes.

Reality. Oh no, I don’t mean it in some deep philosophical way. I do mean reality. That’s what everybody wants to talk about. Here it goes: “I am real. I say whatever comes to my mind. I am outspoken. I hate those who pretend. Those backstabbers who show you a face and then stab you in the back. I hate fake people totally.”

Now my trouble with all this is the fact that almost everybody who goes on this subject says this and I really can’t find a reason why. Now I, being the great reasonable Sherlock Holmes like thinker that I am, can only find two reasons for this, either the fake people have absolutely no problems with other fake people (which cant happen, because well they are fake and know that hating fake people is a cool thing and to be cool, they would fake hatred for fake people) or the fake people don’t make Facebook profiles (which also can’t happen, because firstly, of the previous argument of coolness and also this is the one place where they can actually interact with people without being too fake (coz being fake online is easier than being face to face (testament: all those teenage sex chats I was cheated on. Assholes!!)))

Oh my God, this getting to be the weirdest post ever. Never ever have I had a triple brackets before, unless like when I was programming or something…. Ooohhhhhhhhh…

Anyway, now that the two arguments have been put down, all we left is the fact that everybody is fake. Which I can really agree to. I am a normal guy, I try to be normal and real (you know, like Superman) but there are times when I have been fake. I really dint gain anything from it, not even a phone number, but maybe we do it because its one of those automatic evolutionary defense mechanism things. You know.. a wolf hunting in a sheep’s clothing gets more food (unless of course, the shepherd gets up in the middle of the night and mistaking him for the sheep kills him.) I just couldn’t let my bracket chance go. Ha.

Again, to the topic, another question that comes up is that if everybody is faking, then why do we hate fake people. Ok, or why do we hate more fake people more than less fake people? Hmmmm… how about this, maybe, we don’t want to be fake. You know like although evolution has given us hands, maybe we prefer wings. Huh? Huh? Ok, there may be some other reason to it too.

Fuck that, I don’t care anymore. I love brackets. They look like half boobies.. hihihihi… ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

You Crazy Bitch, Stop Stalking Me!!!

There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to stand up and say, “This is IT!” I put the exclamation mark at the end to force upon the fact of how strong it comes on.

I am talking about change. The ultimatest of all things. Mark twain said that it was the only thing that was certain (or I think it was him.) Newton said that it was not just humans but even objects who didn’t like the concept of change; whether they are in motion or still. I know that the line has been used for this concept a lot, but that’s cause it’s a classic.

Ok, starting again, there comes a moment in the lives of all men when they have to look in the mirror realize that they have to change and there is no way around it. Of course, it had been there for a long time, nudging and prodding us, whispering to us, waking us up at odd times, bumping into us at the mall or tripping us as we walk into a new day with pride.

Hmm, persistent little sucker isn’t it? But we were stronger, and we avoided it. We looked away, we suffered, we fought, we became ignorant, or humiliated, but we managed. We did what we did for many many reasons. We were comfortable, we did not want to let go of that which were sure of, good or bad, we wanted to be content not happy and finally as it comes down to the facts, because we were scared. Hollywood, time and again in the end-of-moment-life-changing confession scenes has given us this fact and it has been met with acceptance by not many people. But tragically, its true. Sorry guys, but it really is.

Change has to happen and we resist it as much as we can. Period. There is really nothing that we can do cure this problem. We will always resist it. It is human nature. Seriously. I am not writing this to in some self help yogi way to help you solve this thing. I am just telling you that it happens. It’s a part of human life and we have to live with. Go on push ahead and make sure that it doesn’t end up taking you down. Sometimes you change, sometimes you don’t, theres nothing that’s too sure here. The only bad thing is to do nothing.

Why I Loved the season finale of TBBT

I know I am a couple of weeks late, but I have to say this. In fact, this review is the result of the fact that I really dont like any of the other expert reviews and I know too many normal people who would agree with what I have to say.

Firstly, I am taking on the most important point of discussion everywhere: the final scene. Yes I agree, it was not shot as well as it should have been. The whole “morning awkwardness” ritual could have been done in a better way. But it was something that I really wanted. In fact, there was no way that it was a surprise; it was due for a long time. If you are a regular viewer like me, you would know that, despite the mutism, Raj has gone through more girls than any of them during the four years; and the moment Penny walked in on Sheldon and Raj’s dinner, I could feel it was right there. She was insecure, lonely and drunk and so was Raj. And they do make a cute couple.

I say that not only because I think Raj and Penny would “constitute a couple that others might consider cute,” but I say this out of my dislike for Leonard. The character has been completely destroyed. Yes, like all romantic comedies worth their salt, the central character is someone who belongs to both the quirky as well as the normal society, forming a bridge between his nerdy past and the cool people coming in and somebody the viewers relate to. But in all of those, the character is made out to be insecure, kind and highly moral and finally courageous in a special way.
But Leonard seems to opt out of all of this and ends up as irritating. Well, Priya had her own share of bad moments to offer to us this season, but what bothered me more than her was the attitude with which Leonard dealt with it all.

He can stand up to the weird but innocent Sheldon but he bows down to Priya and tell one his best friends that he cant see her again. Bad Leonard!! This brings back to mind the whole Ross-Emily-Rachel thing, but again, even during that we felt sorry for Ross.

As for Leonard, no such feelings arise, because if you look at it carefully, Leonard has been turned into a sad, unfunny, cunning, whiny-even-though-he-has-everything-going-for-him character. And the worst of his acts is how without any kind of guilt he sleeps with his best friend’s sister constantly in his house without so much as a thought as to how Raj feels about that. Case in point: the “10 miles above the earth” inaccurate sex session. And to anybody, who holds me judgmental for the wrong reasons, I am an only child.

I think the writers agree with me on this topic because from the first scene of the episode, they have been pushing Leonard down. Although the only saving grace was Sheldon’s laugh-along with the group, the point is taken in.

But if truth be told, I found the third Howard-Bernadette story of “who is a doctor” more engaging than the other two. They have become loveable characters that make every scene beautiful.

Another good scene was the one with Penny and Sheldon in the laundry room. They have this great chemistry and its sad that, like Penny said, they haven’t been alone more often.

On the whole, one of the best episodes of the season, a great season finale, with a good hang in the story. Whats going to happen next we wonder, will Leonard understand that he had been wronging Raj or will he go after him for sleeping with Penny? What will happen to their friendship? What will happen to Leonard and Penny? Just like the last seasons, not too many, yet tiny little questions for the wait and see.

The Facebook “Like”

Oh its such a great little thing. If Zac Ethenburg or whatever that guy’s name is (fuck, I’ve seen the movie like 3 times) invented it himself, he should be given an award. It’s the greatest invention of the 21st century.

The ultimate new generation communication system that can be used for all the things in the world. I really cant think of anything that can replace the simplicity an magnitude of it. The simplicity because its just a little blue button with a thumbs up sign.

The magnitude, well, thats two parted. Firstly, the “magnitude of the topics” that it can be used for. Books, movies, ads, tv channels, cars, tata docomo, companies that have no relation with you and have never heard about at all and tata docomo (god, that comes up a lot.) Anything, any event, date, trip, photo, person, robot, dog, sexual positions, anything, anything can be treated with the like button.



Now the second part is the “magnitude of emotions” that it expresses. It can mean: “OH MY GOD!!! That was amazing” or that was interesting or I feel you or it made me think or sometimes just that I like it. Sometimes even if you dislike something, you can express it with the like button, you know sarcastically.

It’s the ultimate magical thingy. Catered specifically for those really sweet moments that change our lives and leave us dumbfounded and speechless. Or maybe the times when we really don’t have anything to say, but we do want to tell the world that we acknowledge.

Fuck, even as I write on all these uses of the like button keep popping up in my head. And the only thing that I really don’t understand why nobody else thought of this before. I remember the time before facebook: you know the orkut time. Google owned that crap. How come with all that money and all those genius guys with the weird working habits couldn’t think of the like button? I mean even everybody around the world was unliking orkut. Get it? Wasn’t that funny? Huh?

Anyway I like the like button and thought I’d just talk about. Hmmmm… maybe I should have “liked” the like button. Saved me a hell lotta words. Or maybe I that hasn’t been made as a page, I should make it. I am gonna check it out. Good Day.

How to Get a Good Night's Sleep Easily

I am tired. I have not actually done anything to get tired, but I am tired. I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe I should do some soul searching and find out why I am tired. I know I will find it out because if there is something that I can do better than anything in the whole world, its soul searching.

I am a soul searcher. A good one. Now my little problem.

I have a big thing tomorrow. The kind that will change my future forever and I have studied actually nothing.

No, I am not clear here. The outcome of this “thing” will definitely change my life and future and I have really absolutely done nothing. I have the closed book in front of me right now that I just picked up off the shelf and dusted down. Tadada!!!!! I am superman. I have been busy doing shit little things. Fuck fuck fuck oh fuck fuck. I don’t really know what do after this.

Ok idiots who are reading this, I am going to go poetic now….

The wheels of life are turning and I am invited for the ride.
I stand sad, with a bowed head and slouch in my shoulders.
We all need a home and I don’t have one.
A tragic little point in life where the warmth of my paretnts
doesn’t seem a home and the effort make one for myelf seems beyond me.
Call me lazy will you please?

No, I mean it. Please call me lazy. Maybe then I will finally get it and maybe I will do something about it. Hahahahahahaha. No idiots I wont. Who the fuck do you think you are to change my life?

Ok. I may have insulted you. Lets start off again. How are you this night? Who do you sleep with? Is there someone who warms your bed for you? Someone you crawl into while they spread their hands or legs and welcome you in? Or do you just hug your pillow and pretend that you have found the love of your life and go away to the land of all things?

Hmmm. I don’t really know you and even if I do, you may not want to answer. So what I am going to do is give you some advice. No matter how your life is, where you do have someone who lies in bed to take you in at night or you are just too pathetic and are just pretending to have someone, just make sure your very special bed someone or imaginary bed someone is naked. And also you are naked or imaginary naked respectively. Otherwise it just isn’t fun.

I am not the idiot. I dint jump to this. I am really trying to solve the problem of before. I don’t know if science has proven it, but trust me on this theorem… “When there to naked bodies joined together, both the minds occupying these naked bodies lose sight of all other things.”

Including all those worries that we try so hard to gather up. So for that little joy that I and you, my idiotic friend really need, all we have to do is get naked and go to sleep. Problem solved. Now call me a genius. Good night.

Oh You Selfish People....

We really don’t know what to do when the reality of the world descents upon us. If there is anything that could define the generation of today, it would be the phrase “ignorance is bliss.” Yes we are blissfully unaware of the world as it is. To know is too cumbersome. The information age. The easiest thing to get is information and we don’t want it now.

No, please don’t misunderstand me. I am not accusing anyone. I am just making people aware of “our” condition. Yes it is important because I am part of it. Every morning I stare across the room at my father as he sits down to read the newspaper with his coffee. He takes his time. He has to go to work soon. Yet he reads in the gravest of detail, starting with front page.

I, who have nowhere to go, sit across him browsing through the supplements. I have never read the front page, except if there is something with a really catchy headline at the bottom of it. I am also not too much of a sports fan and so the main paper is basically out for me. I do browse through it at times, stopping to read only that which reads weird, sort of like a Ripley's Believe It or Not on paper.

The world is changing and I don’t care. The little bubbles that we have created for ourselves are all that matters to us. We, I, us, our family, some friends, our jobs and that’s it. And to ease that process in, we have facebook, twitter, digg, gmail…..etc. We want to know what happen every second of every day to everyone in the bubble. As for the rest of the people, well they might as well go to hell. Tada!! Rhyming lines.

But then, I stop. You know bad things have happened. And bad things happen. What the fuck can I do? Nothing. I know it’s a defeatist way of living. But there are too many people out there and I want to care about myself. Yes I say that with the highest of pride. I am not a bad man. I have never hurt anyone and I have tried to change myself the maximum to the comfort of others.

Also what I have observed is the selfishness of all humans. Each one of us. Yes you idiot, I am talking about you. You are very selfish. No, you don’t want to believe that because….. you do want to help people. Yes that’s it. You “want” to help. You never do. You will do it soon. Maybe tomorrow. Or if it is already tomorrow you will do it day after tomorrow. And for those now smiling because they have actually done something, you are just marginally less selfish because you did only that which was convenient to you. I made you feel good about yourself and you were happy after not being selfish. Good people.

You have to accept that fact. No don’t become the devil. We should try to be unselfish. Instead of believing that we are unselfish, good people and doing nothing, we should accept that we are selfish animals and try not to be so. It is that trying to not be an animal that makes us human. It is that which gave us the civilizations of old and new.

Don’t go out and change the world tomorrow. Start small. Take a second, read the front page. Maybe something happened to someone that is important. Maybe you can do something little. Maybe a mail. Maybe a facebook status update. And so we go….Tada!!!!